1. How often are you clear on what you want before starting an argument?

2. Do you ask yourself what to expect from an argument?

3. Do you ask yourself what the other person really wants?

4. Do you ask yourself why you should enter into a discussion or try to resolve the conflict?

5. Do you pay undivided attention to what the other person wants or needs?

6. Do you pay attention to what the other person does and says during an argument?

7. Do you seek to understand what the other person is offering or has to offer?

8. Are you aware of your body language when presenting your arguments?

9. Are you selective with the words used during an argument?

10. Do you commonly use paraphrasing to ensure understanding and connection?

11. Do you prepare beforehand by gathering facts and knowing your objective, building your strategy on what you can offer to the other person?

12. When handling subtle matters, do you consider your tone of voice and the best place and time to conduct the dialogue?

13. Do you consider the other persons need to be heard and to be empathic with their feelings?

14. Do you focus on the resolution of the problem and not on the problem or faults?

15.  Do you express how you feel about the situation and stick to the facts?

16. Do you listen to what the other person has to say, without interrupting?

17. Do you talk over the options, looking for solutions that benefit everyone?

18. Do you look to agree on an option that benefits both sides to some extent?

19. Are you aware of how you can achieve your goals without undermining others?

20. Do you Avoid escalating tensions with threats and provocative moves?